I Went on a Course to Find the Meaning of Life

I was crying in the basement of a hotel in Eastbourne. Through some intense emotions, I thought; I’m overweight, I’m in my thirties, and I’m crying.

I must look ridiculous.

It was definitely not part of the plan for my life or this weekend.

There were thirty or forty of us gathered in the hotel basement. Some other people were crying as well but most weren’t. A small number were engaged in, what is called, speaking-in-tongues. At least one person was lying on the floor, vigorously shaking, apparently at the behest of a supernatural force. The remaining people were either standing solemnly or they were members of staff or volunteers supervising the day’s activities; praying, assisting and talking to the participants. In a sense, we were all praying. The purpose of this gathering was to ask the Holy Spirit to fill us with its presence and to make everything okay.

I definitely wasn’t okay.

Stood there, sobbing with my head in my hands, dimly aware of the strangeness of this situation, a lot of things were running through my mind, chiefly this: ‘How did I end up here?’

Welcome to the Life Course run by St. Mary’s Church, Marylebone.

Let’s go back a few months. It’s 2015, I had finally moved to London. I had always…